Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Wish List

It's nearly that time of year when I put together my "wish list".

My hubby is a hit and miss gift giver. Sometimes he gets it right, sometimes he's WAYYYYYYYY off base. he's usually not to bad with practical stuff (like a new electric frying pan) but is hopeless at luxuries (like perfume) My hubby and I know each other quite well, but we have different interests. For example, I'm a reader, he's not. So he could tell you that I read a lot, but probably not what I read. Or when it comes to candles, soap or perfume he could tell you that I'm sensitive to some scents, but can never quite remember which ones. They aren't the kind of details he naturally pays attention to - it's not part of his makeup.

Now it has become obvious to me, after many years off banging my head against the brick wall in frustration, that he and I think differently. I cannot reasonably expect him to "figure out" what would make me smile or we both end up frustrated and disappointed. Me, because I was too stubborn to admit that it was OK that he needs some help and him because he'd gotten it wrong again. So now I make him a list of things that I would like.

A few years ago I started writing my hubby a list. I know some people will say "but if I have to tell him its not a surprise". Well no, but you won't be disappointed either. And it gives them options.

One year, I actually handed him $200, a list and said "go fetch" as I pushed him out the door. He went to the local department store and was laughed at by one of the sales attendants for being so pathetic. BUT. I wrote that list thinking that he'd get 2 or 3 things off it and that I'd still get a surprise as I wouldn't know which things they were.

I got a surprise all right. With some careful choices he managed to stretch the money to get every damn thing on the list!! Including a gorgeous watch that was EXACTLY what I would have picked for myself. Was the best Christmas or Birthday I've ever had!! And he felt GREAT because he knew I was going to like or wanted everything he got.

Now............ where did I put that Regency Jeweller's catalogue........ I might include some pictures with my list this year........... LOL!


Dollfinn! said...

Oh I wish mine was willing to accept a list, i did try (including pics cut out of catalogues). He wont buy jewellery because it will make the fatcats like the Debeers (diamond squillionaires) richer, he wont buy dvds or videos as they promote sitting on ones behind even more than usual. Perfumes well he is just to plain scared to buy any of them, even though he knows where and what i buy (imari - avon catalogue) and the special one i want (britney spears in the really pretty pink glass decanter from myers).

Last year for my birthday he decided to take me shopping, we spent four hours going right through all these different shops and then another two hours through bunnings and then went and had food somewhere. He paid for the food, but didnt buy anything else, even though i saw plenty (i pointed them all out lol). I didnt complain though as that was an entire six hours of shopping and he didnt complain, whinge, ask me to hurry up or make sarcastic remarks about commercialism, tourist traps, advertising ruling the world or anything of that calibre. Was the best shopping experience I have had in ages.

The year before he bought me a drogmore. Its a lizard crossed with an elephant type creature, that is used the same as a horse is. This was bought for my DarkElf Necromancer that I play on an online game, where he also plays, so in actual fact, his Iksar Monk bought it for my Necromancer with the monks Platinum (currency in EQ) which is actually sellable in reallife in exchange for cash (although that is against the games terms of use).

LOL could your husband have a talk with my DBF?? Brainwashing him maybe!

Mad goat lady said...

My hubby is one of those wont know what to buy until I actually see it kind of guys.

My birthday is Xmas Eve so of course he leaves it all to the last minute and is then trawling through the shops on the big search for not one but two presents!

Kin said...

My Hubby is getting better. I have in the past given him a list and $200 and sent him on his merry way. Now I make obvious suggestions, like from October every jewellery catalogue that comes in I circle things I like and leave them for him to see. He never buys me what I circle, but then he knows what I want.

He also has two shops he can go to town in - a local jewellery/pretties shop run by mad women who get some 1000 men each year in the week before Christmas and they help shop. And a candle shop.

I've also made several "helpful" suggestions like "I really loved that jewellery box you bought me last year, but I could do with a bigger one". I've noticed a few stops in jewellery shops since for a look see.

Kelley said...

so is a packet of chocolate biscuits on the list???

Harriet Archer said...

We do something similar. I too am a reader, there's always books I desperately want at Christmas time, and this year, there's a couple of cds I want as well. D wants stuff for the Plymouth. I *can't* buy stuff for the Plymouth (he'll source it on ebay and import it); he can't pick out the books and cds I want... So we buy our own presents and hand them over to be wrapped! We normally buy each other a "suprise" - D bought me chocolate and coffee last year, lol! Works for us - we both get something we want, there's no pressure to buy the *perfect* gift, either. I gave him a list once and he bought EVERYTHING and spent a stupid amount. This way, it's way more controlled and we both are happy.

Precious_1 said...

lol Erin. I asked him if he would hire himself out to brainwash other men, he just smirked at me and walked off shaking his head.

Taking you shopping without commenting on commercialism, consumerism or any other 'ism' must have been a HUGE effort by the sounds of your DBF! lol

Yes MGL - my hubby leaves all that "stuff" till the last minute too - I think he'd leave christmas till the day of if he could get away with it (good thing the shops are closed that day! lol)

lol Kin at the catalogue with circled items. I've tried that. I must have been too subtle what with leaving them open on the particular page containing hoop earrings circled in THICK blad texta on his bedside cupboard........ I've also done the "oooo I'd really like that" whilst poking hubby or the kids in the ribs to get their attention, but all to no avail. The list is the only answer!

Ahh. No Kelley. No choccie bickies on my list. Perhaps if you laminate a card with a "spontaneous gifts to keep my wife happy list" on it to slip in his wallet? Or staple it to his forehead, whatever works for you! lol

Its good to find a balance that works for you Jodi (oh crap are you "i" or "ie", now i'm confused) We set a limit too - you have to, I think or it just all gets a bit ridiculous.